Who? Me? I wouldn't do that -- at least not on purpose

The news is terrible. Forget Mom and her yells about the stock market, this is serious news. A new study from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that pets -- like me and Mauly -- are responsible for more than 86,000 falls in the United States each year.

The Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report said that 88 percent of the falls were caused by dogs and 11.7 percent were caused by cats. Mom read me part of the report. She highlighted the fact that half the injuries were from falling or tripping or being pushed or pulled.

Woof. Very interesting. I don't think humans should blame their dogs for these falls and trips. It's certainly not the innocent pets fault. Sure, I know Mom broke her glasses last year, when I shot between the couch and the end table. I was honestly trying to avoid going to bed in my crate. I just wanted to stay up a little longer. And, let's be honest, she didn't have to chase me. If she hadn't, her glasses would have remained intact.

Sure, Mauly and I both do it. Mr. Food Boy is busy in the kitchen and we decide to plop down on the rug by the sink, right where he wants to go. Sure, we're in the way, but we would never hurt him -- at least not on purpose.

Those balls that Mom can't seem to keep tucked away in that basket, they aren't intended to trip anyone. They are just handy, if and when we decide to plop down and chew on them.

Our early morning jumps aren't intended to cause Mom any harm. We're just happy to be awake and ready for a new day. Granted I look more like I'm bowing as I stretch and stretch first thing in the morning. Mauly looks like like she's hopping on a Pogo Stick as she jumps and jumps up with excitement. She's always ready to go outside.

While our family has avoided injury, the new report comes out right at the time Mom has been providing daily lectures. "When the family arrives, you have to behave. When I say, 'Down, you have to do it.'"

We are having both Mom's Family and Mr. Food Boy's Family visit in April. Mom is trying to get us prepared for the reality of visitors. She and Mr. Food Boy want us to remember our K-9 training.

• No jumping.
• No couch. Mauly will be moved to her ottoman and I will be lucky to get a willing lap when the family members arrive.
• Be gentle. We have young children (Rosa and Scott) visiting us and older people (our human grandparents, who are in various stages of recovery from surgery and discovery -- meaning we're not sure what the diagnosis is yet.

We're all excited about having guests in Del Rio. Family makes everyone happy and travel helps the economy, right? This has to be good. It's also nice to show family members a little piece of the neighborhood.

Mauly and I can't wait to show everyone all the animals we see during our nightly walks. There are eating goats, galloping horses, standing cows, barking dogs, singing birds and sitting rabbits. The deer are everywhere, so I'm not sure they count. Mauly likes to point -- it's a hunting technique used for birds -- at Cow, her friend and at the goats. I like to chase bunny rabbits and bark ferociously at other dogs. Mom scolds me for it, but the other dogs started it.

We'll be on our best behavior. Cross our paws over our hearts. Mom has already told us there will be trouble, if we misbehave (which typically means it's time out in the crate).