Mr. Obama pick me

Dear President Obama,

I would like to serve my country. I believe I meet the criteria for a cabinet level position.

I have long been in service to this nation through my support of my Mom -- a hardworking American. I know, because during those days, I was stuck in my crate for 10-plus hours.

I make a concerted effort each day to read the news online with my Mom and listen to tidbits of CNN. While I may be distracted by a deer or cat that enters my domain (yard), I promise I can be very focused when I want to be. When Mom or Mr. Food Boy get ready to feed me, I am deliberate with every action. I know how to work the crowd (i.e. sit when asked to do so or lay down).

I work on command at times and independently when necessary or when I want, too. Mom could tell you how she sometimes keeps me under control with a spray bottle filled with water. Honestly, it stopped me the first few times. Now, I just want to drink the water. I think it's a great game.

I'm a team player, too. Just ask my step-dog sister Mauly. When we put our heads together, we can sometimes overpower just one of our people. Whether it is just jumping up for attention or to grab a crumb from dinner, I have learned the value of teamwork. It really helps you reach your goals or the bruschetta that Mr. Food Boy leaves unattended for a second on the coffee table.

My point, Mr. President, is that I can serve. As you look for talented team members, who cross party-lines, I can assure you I am your dog. In my younger days, I was caught many a day staring at the TV when former President Bush was speaking. I lost interest in hearing him speak after the market dropped last fall. Mom would be crying out at the TV when he spoke and the newscasters simultaneously showed the stock markets. (Psst ... I don't know if you know this, but the market reacts in a similar fashion when you and other cabinet officials speak.)

As a fiscal conservative, I have talents that will surely be useful in Washington. If you remain skeptical about my talents, I would remind you that I have never worked for dollars. I have always worked for pets, walks, hugs and cuddles. To my knowledge, I would pass any Senate committee vetting process on this point. No taxes are due. I promise.

Please consider me for a position in your administration. I can help. If you need me, I am ready to serve. My day currently consists of barking at random noises and naps.

Eddie

P.S. My dog cousin Moonpie taught me at an early age to bark at doorbells. Does the White House have one? I believe I can put my country's need to have cabinet members, who properly pay their taxes, above this individual need to bark.

It's tough to be handsome

I like to prance around like the next poodle-Pomeranian mix. I twirl, as Mr. Food Boy calls it.

I twirl and twirl around when I get excited. It may be in the morning as I anticipate food or it can be when Mr. Food Boy readies to take me out. (Basically, he scoops me up and places me on the back of the couch. He changes my collar and I'm ready to go.) I twirl.

Today, I did not twirl when Mom announced, "You're going to get trimmed up." I didn't like the sound of it. She took Mauly and me outside and then tricked me when I got into my crate. Despite the fact, she kept saying, "You're going to VIP today. I didn't understand." I heard "Blah, Blah, Blah, treats."

Mauly got put away safely in her crate while I got picked up in my crate and carried to the car. I did my best to whimper and ignore Mom's explanations about our destination. "I don't care," I whimpered through barks and low growls. I tried to catch her attention with my sad eyes, but it didn't work. Mom looked straight ahead at the road.

When we arrived, the people at VIP (that stands for Very Important Pets) checked me in. I don't know the groomer's name, but she knew mine. "Eddie!" she cooed as she took me from Mom's arms.

By the time Mr. Food Boy picked me up several hours later, I was exhausted. I get nervous when Mom leaves me there. They always take care of me at VIP, but I am stressed. They have music playing in the background and have a nice facility.

Mom was delighted by my trim. It is easier to put my collar on for my evening walk and I will be cooler when the 90-degree temperatures return to our piece of Texas.

I was so exhausted by the day on the town that I barely moved from my perch on the pillows this evening (Mauly also used this as an opportunity to take an uninvited seat on the couch).

Some days it's doggone tough being handsome. Tonight, I am resting. I can twirl tomorrow.

Pooped out of ideas

The family is still trying to sort this all out. No, not the President's speech last night. It's the whole diet thing!

I'm a delicate eater. I nibble. I crunch. I sit down and take a break before my bowl ever becomes empty.

Mauly is different. She inhales her food in seconds every morning. Her bowl is clean before Mom or Mr. Food Boy can turn their backs on her.

Mauly is the only one in the family, who believes she is starving. If I have an accident in the house, she will clean it up. And, I really mean eat it up. Mom's been on a mission in recent days to investigate ways to correct this behavior. Mr. Food Boy suggests that if Mom would correct my behavior -- make sure I go outside, then there wouldn't be an issue.

Mom happily points out to Mr. Food Boy that those crunching noises from the yard are Mauly and me eating dried poop. While Mom and Mr. Food Boy pick up ours, there are all types of animals that appear in the yard under the cloak of darkness. I agree it would be difficult for them to pick up all of this poop. That's where Mauly and me get to work.

I don't really know how Mom will resolve this issue. One online article suggested splitting up our feeding. Instead of giving us food only in the morning, Mom and Mr. Food Boy are splitting up our daily rations into a morning and evening serving.

One TV show offered pineapple as a solution to this problem. It apparently makes the poop taste icky. But, I wonder (primarily, because my food will be spiced with it) how it will make the food taste I eat? I might not want to eat my food with pineapple chunks.

And, this is a bigger issue? Just like the president has to look at the full picture on this financial crisis, so do Mom and Mr. Food Boy? Mauly and Me aren't the only ones dropping things in the yard. Can they feed pineapple to the deer, cats and possible javelina, skunk and coyote that hang out around our house?

I don't think so. I'm glad it's them that have to worry about this stuff and not me.

New discoveries

Mauly did it. Today, she found the tub of toys that Mom had collected. They were around the house. There was a Wub-a-wubba, a Kong or two, the smiley lips and bunches of bones -- big ones and little ones.

Mom found them in the office, in a bedroom, in the kitchen and around the living room. She thought it would be good to put them in one location. It was more for her than us. It's a metal tub, basket-thingy. I don't know the exact name, I just know I'm too short to get in it.

Mauly is tall enough to poke her head in it. The toys were collected over the weekend, but it took her until Wednesday to figure out how to poke her head in the tub and pick out a treat. It's like a treasure chest, but for dogs!

While Mr. Food Boy made dinner, Mauly picked out a toy and dropped it near the French doors. She went back and selected a bone. It was dropped on her green pillow. Before long, she had chosen and discarded several toys.

Mom went around and picked them up from the floor. This must be a new game. I'll keep you posted.

I'm going to sleep on this

Here we go again.

The Dow Jones Industrial average took a dive (382 points) today after the Obama bailout plan did little to persuade investors this was a good idea. We're back to a low point in the market that we last saw in November 2008.

We've been at this recession for 14-months now -- I'm not that much older than this thing (as long as you are counting in human years). I'm young, but I don't get what the government is trying to do.

They flushed a bunch of cash (billions) into the economy last fall and it didn't seem to work. As the President talks up the stimulus plan, I keep hearing everyday Americans saying: "My bank won't refinance" or "I can't get a house loan." The more important question is: "How will this plan create a job for me?"

True mortgage rates are low. The stimulus plan includes a lot of nice features to give homeowners incentives to buy a house, but I don't know that it is enough. People are paying too much for these dog houses.

Mom said some people were irresponsible when they purchased their homes. The banks and all the people involved in the homebuying process should have been more responsible. If you make $25,000 a year, you should not be getting a mortgage for a $400,000 house.

Where did logic go? I don't know, but I think I'll sleep on it and see if I can come up with an answer. I'll get back to you.

Is it time to hide?

These numbers are getting a little high. It's enough to make one dizzy. Mauly-Bones got so tired of it, she stuck her head in the sand (well, under the bed anyway).

Senators decided Saturday (Feb. 7) to cut the stimulus proposal from $900 billion to $780 billion. A vote is expected this week.

That's a lot of money and dog treats. It's a little overwhelming to think about how this "package" is going to stimulate the economy. Businesses, employees and just general dog bystanders are learning every day how the U.S. economy is solely built on spending.

With people losing their jobs or fearing the loss of their jobs, they don't spend as much. Mom keeps saying that she has limited spending to food and gas. She's been doing that since August.

Mom made an exception recently after Mauly and I destroyed a bed I had had since I was a puppy. We made a hole in it. We played around until we could get the white, fluffy stuffing out and eat it. My first bed went in the trash after Mom and Mr. Food Boy bought a new one for $18.95 plus tax.

Oh, she and Mr. Food Boy will occasionally go to the movies (the matinee is a steal at $3.25) and will treat themselves to a meal out – once or twice a week. Mom says they don't have to worry, right now, and they're lucky. Others, who are losing their jobs and homes, are not so lucky.

I hope these lawmakers know what they are doing. The proposal has some good projects like school nutrition and adding money to government agencies. The media-types keep talking about dollars, but I don't recall seeing any story looking at the economic impact.

Is it one of those scenarios like every dollar spent is multiplied in the community. I'll keep my paws crossed that it means something like that. If it doesn't, I'll find a bed to hide under, too.

No treats for you

That was a close one. Mom was about to hit the roof on Tuesday (Feb. 3) when she read about Wells Fargo sending employees to Las Vegas. The company just took over Mom's bank (Wachovia), so she was a bit mythed.

So, the story goes that Wells Fargo, who just reported $2.83 billion in losses in 2008, and took $25 billion in government bailout money was going to send some of its employees to Vegas. Other banks and financial institutions have been smacked on the nose for doing the same thing. AIG spent around $440,000 on a spa event after taking $85 billion.

While Wells Fargo tried to defend it. It didn't really fly with everyday dogs, Americans and elected officials. "What the crap?" was a valid question.

The bank's response: "Recognition events are still part of our culture," spokeswoman Melissa Murray said Tuesday afternoon. "It's really important that our team members are still valued and recognized."

The fact the spokeswoman said it was "part of our culture" ticked Mom off. From everything I hear on the news, the culture is currently failure. Banks are losing money. Executives took risks that were too risky. So, what's an appropriate recognition? Are they getting kicked out the door or fired. No, they are getting bonuses, free trips and corporate perks; because it's part of the culture.

Wells Fargo changed its tune later on Tuesday night. "In light of the current environment, we have now decided to cancel this event as well," the company said in a news release that also said the it had never planned to use taxpayer bailout money for the trip.

A Republican lawmaker said it best. Rep. Shelley Moore Capito, a West Virginia Republican who sits on the House Financial Services Committee, said. "They're tone deaf. It's outrageous."

How is it that these financial men and women think they're entitled to these perks when their companies are failing and need government cash to infuse their businesses. And, why is it that humans are looking to the same people, who got the economy into this mess, to fix the problems?

I'm a dog. I like treats, but I know Mom won't give me one when I do something wrong. I bark, "No treats for them."